God asks an interesting question in verse 10, “An excellent wife, who can find?” NASU Verse 10 begins a poem that ends with verse 31. This poem lists in great detail many wonderful qualities which if practiced would result in producing an excellent wife, whose worth would be far above jewels.
The Proverbs 31 poem begins by pointing out that trust is a necessary ingredient in a wife. (It is obvious that most of these points apply equally as well to husbands.) The excellent wife will work hard and do good…..all the days of her life. The excellent wife is one who makes sure that there is ample food in the house and distributes it fairly. The excellent wife plans ahead and invests wisely, using the profits more wisely still. The excellent wife takes precautions to protect her own health and to keep herself physically strong. The excellent wife readies the household for the inevitable time of hardship that will come due to bad weather or famine. She keeps the household in a position to be generous to the poor. The excellent wife makes sure the family has adequate clothing, but she knows that the strength of her character is more important than physical clothing. The excellent wife builds up the reputation of her husband so that he is respected in the community. The excellent wife speaks words of wisdom and kindness. The excellent wife will love, nurture, train, and discipline her children with consistency. Because of that training, they will grow up and shower her with respect and blessing. The excellent wife will fear (respect) the Lord. The fruit of her love, the works of her hands, the dignity of her character, will cause her husband to burst into a song of praise blessing her.
Proverbs 31:10 asks, “An excellent wife, who can find?” (NASU) Is there one anywhere to be found? Why aren’t there more? Excellent wives and excellent husbands do not just appear from out of nowhere, by accident. An excellent wife or husband is one who was trained by godly parents. As parents we have a responsibility to God and to our children’s future spouses to train our daughters and sons in the ways of the Lord. If you have a daughter, Proverbs 31 is a good place to start to train her. Surely there are other godly traits not found in this chapter, but if you get your daughter to incorporate into her life all that is here, you will have accomplished a great thing.
Proverbs 31:10 asks, “An excellent wife, who can find?” (NASU) Surely, it is a difficult search indeed. As parents, we have a responsibility to God and to our children to consistently pray for the future spouses of our children. Your sons and daughters will be looking for mates. Will they have the wisdom to look for the right person, in the right places, with the right qualities, a godly person? We need to be praying for wisdom and discipline for our children as they search for a life partner.
Choosing Christ as Lord and Savior is our most important decision. Choosing a spouse is our second most important decision. It is bewildering to contemplate how little time and effort and prayer is invested in this incredibly important, life-long decision. Your actions have a great impact on how the question “An excellent wife, who can find?” is answered. Will excellent wives and husbands be available? Will your daughters and sons know how and where to look? And what qualities to look for? The implications for training and choosing wisely are immeasurable for the individual couples, but also for our families, churches, schools, communities, and nation.